Reflections..............

I look in the mirror today and smile............and cry.........and am ever so thankful. Today marks the 1 year anniversary of the beginning of my journey to health. A year ago today, February 14, 2011 I stepped on the scale weighing 235 pounds and said enough is ENOUGH! A year ago today I was out of breath walking from the house to the barn. My heart hurt as I huffed and puffed. My boots were so tight on my calves that it hurt. I was scared to walk up and down the steps of the milk parlor because I was so fat. I was uncertain on the steep steps. I was discouraged, depressed, angry, and miserable. I decided to do something before my health plummeted so far down that I would not get to enjoy watching my babies grow up.

I began a detox diet where I chose to follow the Eat Fat, Lose Fat: The Healthy Alternative to Trans Fatsdiet for the health compromised by Dr. Mary Eing (GREAT BOOK!). It was a horrible two weeks that followed because I was taking such large amounts of coconut oil daily I experienced a Herxheimer reaction and was sick, in bed, felt gross, napped often, you name it... it was nasty. BUT I knew I was cleaning out all the nasty toxins out of my body. I followed those weeks with a colon cleanse and a candida cleanse. Grains, starches and sugar were deleted from my diet, yet I was still depressed and frustrated as the scale was moving very little. By the beginning of April after 6 weeks of what I felt like was a torture diet I had only lost 15 pounds! Most of it had come off in the first 3 weeks. I had lost NOTHING for at least 2 weeks by this time. I was so frustrated as my still 220 pound self was staring at me in the mirror daily.

Sometime around then Dr. Mercola posted an article about hCG. His conclusions were such that he was not sure if people really lost weight from the hcg or if it was just from the 500 calorie diet. He was not convinced that the hcg protocol would really work long term nor that it resulted in the loss of abnormal fat. Below his article I started reading testimonials of people who had lost a LOT of weight VERY quickly and were keeping it off. I started researching and reading everything I could find online about the hcg Protocol. I was asking the Lord... "Is this it? Will it work?" I took the plunge and ordered some VERY expensive homeopathic hcg and read the entire protocol within the next couple of days. I was so hopeful... imagining what it would be like to lose 1/2 - 1 pound a DAY.... why I might be able to get below 200 pounds and stay there.

I stumbled upon Kevin Trudeau's book The Weight Loss Cureand ordered it. It arrived right around the same time as my homeopathic hcg did. I skipped all the parts in the book about detoxing and stuff, I had already done that, and started reading his take on the protocol. He put an organic real food slant on phase 3 and phase 4 that really impacted me. I thought, "WOW, if eating this way: real fat, coconut oil, lard, cod liver oil, butter, grass fed meat, organic fruits and veggies, very limited grains, etc is how to maintain... it is NO WONDER that I have maintained my obesity for SO LONG!"

About this time Easter Weekend was right around the corner and I worked up the gumption to talk with Phil about the protocol. You see our family believes in a diet filled with healthy fats, grass fed meat, veggies, fruits, and soaked or sprouted organic grains along with the use of real sugars like raw honey and real maple syrup. So a low fat, low calorie diet did not fit in our food philosophy. I was very concerned that he would not be supportive because we really did believe that the way we were eating was the healthiest for our family. Much to my surprise when I talked about the protocol with him... told him it was only for 40 days and that maintenance was the way we lived.. he encouraged me to give it a try.

Easter weekend, April 23, 2011, I loaded, which was the beginning of my first Phase 2. My post load weight was 221.8. By May 13, our anniversary, just 19 days later I was in "wonderland" for the first time in 12 years! I KNEW that the hcg protocol was going to finally allow me to shed the fat. I pushed the envelope my first round and went 57 days to lose a total of 47 pounds. I ended my first round having shed the baby weight from all six of our children. This was a huge victory. I was so thankful to be just in the overweight category... no longer obese. It was so fun going through my closet and getting rid of all the size 20, 18, and 16's. I was fitting into size 14's and some 12's. WOW!

My journey is now coming close to the end. Each new day brings the finish line closer in view. I had always thought that 155 would be my end goal but when I got there it was obvious that more fat needed to be shed. Currently I'm on my third round of hcg and will conclude this round sometime in the beginning of March.

Today I reflect on this past year. I am so thankful that the Lord allowed me to "stumble" upon that article by Dr. Mercola. I'm so thankful that God's Word is true, Philippians 4:13" I CAN do ALL things through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS me!" This journey has been one of many emotional and physical challenges. My brain has had to re-learn what my bodies needs are. I'm grateful that through it all God's grace has been sufficient.

Today's reflections include: seeing myself in the mirror wearing size 11/12 fitted top and size 8 jeans that are loose - last year I wore a size XXL top and size 20 pants that were tight. Today I showered and was able to bend over and shave my legs. Last year I could not bend over and breath at the same time. I can cross my legs at the knee while sitting and the crossed over leg hangs gently down, instead of sticking out to the side and cutting off circulation to my foot. This year, I walked briskly to the barn, trotted up and down the stairs in the milk parlor (several times), hauled feed for the chickens, and did my chores with ease... oh... and my boots are very lose and comfy even with wool socks and my flannel lined jeans tucked in! This year I'm not ashamed of me nor am I embarrassed to be seen in public. It was fun going to a restaurant with my husband to celebrate Valentines day and not feel like everyone was thinking that I needed to NOT eat that meal. I felt beautiful and like I fit well in the picture with that wonderfully handsome caring man. I used to be so ashamed of me... with him because he was so handsome.............and I was so fat and "ugly". Today I will smile and laugh when I hug my littles and they can reach their arms all the way around me, lock their hands and squeeze. My dear autistic son no longer asks me if there is a baby in my tummy because I don't have a big tummy. I reflect on all these silly, important, fabulous memories of all the changes that have taken place.........and I cry tears of gratitude.

I am thankful for all those people in cyber space who have journeyed along side me, who have encouraged me, taught me, cheered for me, rebuked me, and challenged me to see beyond the obesity to a life that is filled with health and hope. My hope is not to be a skinny person, but to have the optimum health that God desires for me so that I can fulfill His plan for me as a wife, a mother, a farmer, a piano teacher, and all the other life activities that cross my path daily.

So today as I reflect on all that has changed in this past year.... I am filled with love, joy, peace, and a renewed body.... and I am overwhelmed.

Happy Valentines Day!